it's 3:21 am, on May 09, 2002 - nostalgia part two.

~

So guess what I reread tonight? The WMF.

And then I started rereading all the short fics that were on the page. And I started thinking about all the little scenes that I lost, the second time my harddrive crashed -- there were a lot of them. I think I might have even written a first line for the Threesome That Won't Ever Be.

I told Mel today that River is my number one star. It's still a trueism.

And I'm studying things, and I think that this, too, is one of those always-romantic lines: I lose my grammar when he's around.

~*~

It's three o'clock in the morning, and I'm hungry, so let's eat.

I've been trying to think a whole lot less about all the things I could put in the list labelled "lost", in the last while. Long while, I guess. A lot of people that I didn't want to lose but maybe have. A lot of fic, from the Great Crash. Fandoms. Email. Etc. On top of all of this, faint melancholy, I have the song "Falling" in my head, which just brings me back to thinking about road trips.

Last night, I dreamed about the Conga and meeting Danielle Raabe. For those not in the know, Dani is Chris's ex-girlfriend. I think Mel and Alicia were there. We were going to the library. It was raining. Dani had shorter hair.

Mel said she was reading my old journal entries, and feeling mostly mellow, earlier today. --looking at my older entries, apparently this journal is a year old from Monday. But the first entry I made in the journal at all, over on the other server, is some time in September of two thousand.

And looking over those first journal entries, I just found one about Nashville.

There's this word in Greek, that I learned today. It's "deinos". It means awe-some, not as in, "good", but as in "awe-inspiring, for good or ill" or "something so great and beyond yourself that it's terrible and wonderful all at once". Gods, you often hear of as being deinos. Natural events. Thunderstorms. Disasters.

People, too, can be deinos. Not to the Greeks, often, but to us, sure they can. Who hasn't felt the glare of the sun when speaking to someone?

Right. Ricky would be that. Pietje would be that, for sure. Anyone we have a cult built around, or a shared mythology with, would have a little bit of that quality.

We all have personal mythologies now, instead of sharing our love affairs with the rest of our polis. Our tribes are smaller, our gods changed shape. But the principle's the same.

~

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what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

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