it's 9:44 pm, on May 31, 2005 - cowardice.

~

So I still want to take a photography class. I went so far as to look up classes at UBC I could take this summer, and apparently the intro class - five weeks, six to eight thirty thursday nights - started last week.

That's okay, because I don't have a camera yet.

Here's the thing - I don't like to do a thing unless I am good at it. not even praised for it, simply respected as having merit. It's why I am often so uncomfortable at work - I don't have that sensation of being accomplished at my job, and so I'm a little on-edge with everything I do there.

I write, and usually I can objectively say, "yes, this is worthwhile, this is good." Alternately, I can look at people who have acknowledged that I am good at it, and thus I feel comfortable doing it.

Learning something new, however, always makes me uncomfortable. I don't like the potential that someone may look at the thing I have attempted to do and say, by god, don't even bother.

So do I buy the camera? I like the idea of taking photos, and for myself, I think I can come up with photographs that I consider worthwhile? but who knows.

and it doesn't have anything to do with the idea of being able to put an apple powerbook, a digital camera, and an iPod into a canvas bag like Veronica Mars. really. no, really. no, really.

~

-

what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

-