it's 10:45 pm, on July 08, 2006 - flesh wound.

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I had this really witty thing I was thinking about writing into an entry earlier today, except now of course it's totally gone. tonight I opened the bottle of wine a friend brought over a while ago and drank some; tomorrow morning I don't think I'm going to be pleased.

This weekend it kind of feels like my insides have been tearing themselves apart slowly, creating war and stirring themselves up. I feel like Al described when she wrote me that letter, years ago, where she described sitting on the floor in her empty bedroom thinking over and over again, "what will happen?"

I've forgotten what the quote "if you let everything be a flesh wound you'll bleed yourself dry in no time" is actually from. what will happen.

it's funny; in three days will be the eight year anniversary of meeting paris. July is always historically a categorically bad month for me, in terms of emotional outfall.

What will happen.

I wish I had more, but I don't; I feel frozen with indecision, waiting for something to happen so that I can react to it appropriately. if I just knew-- and, what. I just want to get to August, tonight, I just want to get past July and into a new month, out of the summer and into the fall.

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what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

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