it's 8:15 pm, on February 16, 2007 - train.

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I know this is supposed to be a deep-thought kind of place, but I'll let b. explain why instead, I'm just updating list-style.

b. last night, I dreamed I called in sick to work today because - for some reason - kyle was committed. i.e.: taken away for being crazy. for some reason, it was thursday afternoon, and I was at work, only work was at some kind of estate/manor, and there was a large auditorium, and the company put on a jazz concert for the employees. me and my boss both wished we'd just not come back from lunch.

so somehow that morphs into being with kyle, and then kyle being picked up by - I don't know. I remember deciding to just stay in bed (which was across the field? golf course? from work) and not call, not go in, not let anyone know what was going on. I told Janet later that I was sorry, but that Kyle was committed. as if that makes everything better.

don't ask, I don't know. I mean, clearly he was nuts, he gave me up, but why my subconscious decided to give me that in some kind of winding country road setting, along with a broken fence and a huge jazz chorus, I don't know. and if you do, just don't tell me. at this point, I don't think I want to know.

b. it's quarter past eight, and I just got home from work.

c. looking at a. and b. simultaneously, I think perhaps what my subconscious was doing, among other things like throttle myself in my sleep, was warn me about going into work today. it should have probably been a three day weekend.

d. last night we went to the movies, and now I have a huge bag of sour candies to eat, which I am doing instead of eating dinner. so I'm sitting in bed, eating sour candies and drinking beer, waiting for something to happen.

still waitin' on a train.

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I don't know what to say about the emotional maelstrom that is current events. I worry daily; I assume every quiet moment, every night where I don't hear from someone, it's a subtle reminder that I don't have anybody anymore. but I do have sour grapefruit slices. that should make it better. I wish it did. somehow, it doesn't.

~

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what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

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