it's 8:03 pm, on February 19, 2007 - -.

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for the past few months - six weeks, maybe, I don't know - I've had serious doubts as to the direction life is going. there's work, which is, well. heh. anyway. there's that, and then there's all the relationships 'round these parts, and there's my own well-being; and none of those things seem to be heading in a direction that I like, or even that looks like a good direction.

I don't think anything is heading forward in the way I want it to, but I can't tell what needs to change. probably because the answer to that question is me - I need to change. I'm the faulty piece, the squeaky wheel, the slipped gear. I'm the road sign pointing in the wrong direction, and there is no solution to that. there never has been.

I emailed al a couple of days ago, laying it on the line - telling her my grief. and I said, how arrogant are we, thinking that we're the only people to feel this way. except, other people *can't* feel this way, it's impossible. there would be no humankind if everyone had the struggle I do. would there? what a horrible thought: that everyone, all over, is like this, and nothing to be done. it can't be true. except part of me knows it probably is, that this is just the same thing every person is. no one is really unique. as Daisy says, there should be more piles. but there aren't.

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what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

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