it's 9:22 pm, on February 28, 2007 - -.

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it's been nothing but woe around here these days, hasn't it? go back two months and there's one entry that isn't doom and gloom. I refuse to go back further.

december 28th, 2006, talks about the train wreck, about feeling like even if we didn't die, we should have, and so everything that happens afterwards is an afterthought, a mistake. I know it's not common to be reassured by the idea that we stop when we die, but I am. we stop, we are complete, we have collected every memory and every experience. the file is closed. the person is finished, no input allowed. it appeals to my compulsive collector's nature.

that's probably the most appealing thought about taking one's own life, actually. the idea you can choose to close your life chapter, and that's all you'll ever be. the end.

waiting on a train.

I wish I had something not doom and gloom. I wish there was something good I felt. but there just isn't. I take solace in the things that can be completed in their entirety, no mistakes, no exceptions. a remnant, perhaps, of being able to pack every worldly possession into four boxes in preparation for leaving.

~

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what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

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