it's 10:28 pm, on July 30, 2007 - -.

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I screamed at someone today for the second time in I can't remember when. The last time I screamed was at Bryant, and while he didn't necessarily deserve it, the situation kind of did (not the resentment, but the release of negative emotions). so it wasn't a negative thing, yelling, though it was unexpected since I never, ever yell.

this time, I yelled at someone who may or may not have deserved it, but whom I only have to deal with for another three weeks, so I really don't care that much one way or another. at least I can burn this bridge rather than others, so it does let off steam. it's better than attempting to shoot myself, which at this point I feel like is the only other pressure valve available to me. which in and of itself is a familiar old friend, that feeling of wishing for eternal sleep - but, but.

mostly it's just that I'm not excited in anything and I don't believe in anything. I'm going to school to save the world; but I figure it's probably too late. I don't have anything else - I mean, I do, but I focus on the bad things. that old familiar feeling.

no one wants to be sick.

~

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moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
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bruise - June 29, 2015

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