it's 8:25 pm, on September 20, 2007 - -.

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I'm doing pretty good with self-contained emotive response, aren't I? getting old, or just getting closer to death? inquiring minds.

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on being not so good with keeping emotive response inside: Yes, so I'm sitting in the bar, listening to the new Ben Lee album. this is not the Griffin anymore, it's a new corner in a new space and all alone. I say it not to elicit pity, but just to segueway into: In the shower earlier this week, I realized something kind of fundamental - no matter what kinds of things I tried (successful or not) to believe in, in my entire life, I have never found anything that didn't reinforce my negative worldview.

Nothing I've seen in this world hasn't propped up my inherent view that the world is a fundamentally bad, painful, and not positive place. A lot of people think I haven't tried hard enough, but I really have. I think that's why John Mayer and Ben Lee have the ability to make me want to curl up and die in the corner these days. At one point, there was some kind of hope that there'd be something in my life that might prove my inherent negativity wrong. now, I'm sure there won't be.

waiting on a train.

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what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

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