it's 5:41 pm, on January 24, 2014 - so sick of congress.

~

in an email to the organism I wish was my spirit animal, some days, the one human that despite having only met them twice in my life I have always felt a strange kinship for--

anyway, in an email to this human, in a less erudite way, I tried to explain my twitter absence, that strong aversion to, when all's said and done, attempt to stop putting my foot in my mouth. the desire to remove myself from other people's presence, hence anorexia, rather than fasting. because it is an attempt to get control of one's own self, when one finds any input too out of control. fasting is a cleanse to renew yourself. anorexia is a bid for perfection by giving into the intense fear of allowing anything at all. or something.

I also said, "(one of) my favorite quotes from Before Sunset is about how no matter where you go, you're still there - so if you're sick of yourself, nothing really helps. I think that might be the spiritual wound of the haves of our generation." I think it holds true: our spiritual wound, to be super pretentious and barely-tolerable, is never being in enough trouble to get away from being ourselves. nothing is so terrible outside the world to put the drab, utterly useless existences, the futileness of who we are, in perspective.

we have enough time to think, and it cleaves the mind, rends the heart until that gaping wound seeps love and faith out onto the floor. like heart burn. a hole in your chest, which everyone has, but we can see clearly because nothing more important is in the way.

~

-

what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

-