it's 5:57 pm, on May 27, 2014 - conundrum.

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how can I think about dating when half the time I'm pretty sure I don't even like the few friends I've got, nevermind new people?

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another thought: I'm pretty sure most people think that they can't make friends / don't have nobody / gonna go in the garden and eat worms because there's something wrong with them. I'm pretty sure that (barring a few years in middle school) I was self-possessedly idiosyncratic enough to be fairly certain the fault lay with other people.

think of it this way: most people are depressed because they can't connect to people, everything is terrible, and other people are better, brighter, fitter, happier (thank you Thom Yorke). they're unhappy because they and their lives aren't as good as other people.

I think - and maybe this is the only way in which I really related to astrology - that even growing up, I was pretty sure that me and my life was just as good as other people, nay, basically better. as a pisces, I could truly evaluate myself and my situation as an outside observer, and knew that me and things were turning up roses.

and yet this disconnect and melancholy linger.

it might be worse, you know, to look around and say, "yep, I'm better than these shlubs" and yet things still feel terrible.

this is where "self improvement is masturbation" really sets in.

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what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

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