it's 2:05 p.m., on 2001-06-18 - south georgia.

~

'this could be the saddest dusk I've ever seen'

Now I see a farmhouse, old, that's maybe rented, with autumn nights and piles of leaves. Someone picking apples in the day, and falling asleep to the smell of woods at night, alone. Maybe, taking walks into town and buying bread, maybe, getting the property ready to sell. Something quieter than a death in the family, but the same kind of changes.

Someone coming home and finding out that things don't stay the same, even if you clutch tight, desperate to keep something the same and something simple. That even if the fifty year old farmhouse hasn't changed... guess what? You did.

You always change.

~*~

'these things, they go away, replaced by every day'

You know the reason I still come around every year?

Because, as I'm coming around the bend in the road, and he's sitting on his porch... even though it's been a month or more, six months maybe, he doesn't stand up and give me a hug. He doesn't make a fuss and-- it makes it feel like I just left.

He makes me feel like I've always been here.

~*~

I still feel so procreative I might cry.

~*~

It's like coming home.

~*~

That was all written last night, before I went to sleep. I woke up at five in the morning today. I'm considering napping for a while longer.

The rem continues to flow.

Today I dreamed about a bridge, and people from the private school I went to. Oliver was there, and we were in a mall that was about to shut and he was buying stuff, and Luke was there I think and we were friends. And someone else-- Bridgette, I think, which is totally weird because I haven't seen her since elementary school. And we wanted a new necklace.

Sometimes I do not understand my brain at all.

I still have 'night swimming' on repeat. It's sunny outside; Kael and River and I are talking about what we'd go backpacking with. What would be in our bags. I'd rather talk about what's in my head, but-- river and I are doing the non-communication communication today.

She actually made me resentful, because this sublime mood was spoiled by her mentioning backstreet boys slash. That's how stubborn I am. Am strange, I am.

*puts on 'night swimming' again*

Maybe that will help.

--no, I know that will help.

~

-

what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

-