it's 1:29 am, on September 12, 2001 - new york deserts.

~

In lieu of something that might get me hate mail (ie: a logical definition of terrorism as terror), I'm going to talk about the movie I just saw: Finding Forrester.

Then, when I've got my thoughts all out about the movie, I'll talk about guns.

The movie was good; the movie made me feel guilty. Sean Connery, a recluse author. Rob Smith (Smith?), an aspiring sixteen year old at a fucking repressed school. It's reminded me how little I have to say when there isn't an 'i' involved; stories are less interesting to tell unless they have a 'me' in the content. I don't write stories. I write *my* story. There seems to be something vaguely wrong about that, as if, when I have a talent, I'm putting it to a bad use by focusing on a mildly gay white girl from a prosperous neighborhood.

I could never be a journalist, but I could try and use my ability to get into another mindset so easily and write about other people, instead of staying within myself.

I think it's why I have an easy time of languages. Someone said once (I think it was a tv show) that war is as much concept as execution. To understand a culture, one must understand the language. If you can think in Japanese, or Hindi, or Russian, or Arabic, you're going to have an easier time understanding why, for example, someone would think that a lesson in terror had to be taught.

...I'm not getting into that. The fight-club admiring part of me doesn't have any sense of perspective.

I have lived in a place where I was a second-class citizen; I have seen a lot of things. I really have. I have seen Islam, and a riot, and the two of them together. I don't trust reporters.

What I do know is I want to focus much more on learning languages, I think, and also, I want satellite television. Who knows what Indian channels are broadcasting today. Who knows what the Palestinian television networks have to say; China's national networks. The Russian news crews.

I'm going back to the movie.

So, it was giving me a sense of guilt that I'm not using a talent that I have for something less inwardly focused. And it's something I think I should work on. I have an idea for a story, and I think I'll try and work it.

One last thing, that both has to do with this, and has nothing to do with this. I still want to see Israel. And I'm so fucking glad River called.

~

-

what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

-