it's 12:10 am, on January 09, 2002 - what I want most in life.

~

I just said, "brb. I gotta do some laundry."

The new season of OZ hasn't started here, yet. I'm intensely frightened that it will.

Al says that Lance likes justin the same way he likes the Baha men, or his new haircut; he thinks that Justin is in, the way that the baha men were in, and it was pre-meditated, to like him. She said, "he likes whatever is big at the time; and he manages to only just make the bandwagon." She says that even Lance's fixation with Justin would be, premeditated, in some inside out way that lance wouldn't know.

And then, "unlike Justin, who just is that thing. Who never has to ask. Never has to read anything; just wakes up and starts walking."

I say, I like them probably because of this, and not despite it. She called me a weirdo. She's probably right.

~*~

I just finished reading "most in life" by Tan, and, I just told Cathy "I want. Just in general."

See, it goes, "what do you want most in life" and Chris says "you" and he means, the five of them, his family, his.

In some other story that I read earlier today, they talked about an artificial community, spread out across the country. Pop music. I thought, "internet".

What I want most in life, pilgrims, is you.

~*~

Someone bought me four months for my whore-journal and I'm flummoxed as to who. Soon, you conspirators. Soon I'll figure it out, and then you'll get the stories you deserve.

New hard drive bought yesterday; happy about this, because it means I can do websites again. Once I get back from Toronto. If I go to Toronto. Am hoping that JB will be at the airport, and not elsewhere, because that'd suck. Also hoping that I can get on a flight. Have decided to go tomorrow, and not later as I thought.

Chris says:

but right now, he loves just touching, and learning, and the new things, which are really old things without action, that he can now experience.

Chris also says:

"I want all of us, too," JC says simply, reaching out his hand, and Chris takes it, pulling him up. JC looks at Joey and Justin then at Lance and, finally, at Chris. JC is long and pliant as he wraps himself around Chris, laying his head on his shoulder. "I'll never be happy with anybody else, and I could never pick. I could never say who I wanted more."

"Yeah, yeah," Chris says, "yeah, that's what I'm saying."

which reminds me, in some way, of another Chris and prison, and that's not much of a surprise. Pop music is a viscious universe, an artificial community, just like the internet. Chris is the perfect lover.

I have stuff to mail. You.

~

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what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

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