it's 9:59 am, on March 27, 2002 - dating Chris Kirkpatrick.

~

So, I dreamed I was dating Chris Kirkpatrick last night.

No, that's not entirely accurate.

For some reason, I went to a meet and greet. But like, a meet and greet that was about, um, lemme think. It was a meet and greet that they set up, with just me for some reason, so that it was longer than a few minutes. I think I was backstage at a show.

So then like, Chris and I and some of our friends -- my friends? -- were in my hotel room. For this weird thing. And it's sunny, and we're just hanging out before the show. I think. And he starts coming onto me, and I gotta pull him aside and say "Hey, I'm gay", and some other stuff happens -- I think I proposition him the same way that I proposition every guy I wish I was attracted to, but amn't: "if I can do this, we'll do this. if not, you can at least watch."

I remember him saying, very clearly, "Are you sure you know what you're getting yourself into?" I don't know what, precisely, he was referring to.

So then, like, anyway. Later, there's this huge festival, right? And it's sunny, and there are vendors. Outdoor venue. Beautiful day. --oh, I forgot. I was wearing my orange tanktop and a miniskirt. Why I remember these things, I don't know.-- So me, and Chris, and Sue, and some other people I don't really recognise now though I did then, are sitting at this plastic lawn furniture table, off to the side of the stage, or behind the stage maybe, where people are milling around, walking past. I think it was by the food.

No one's recognising Chris. I remember, really clearly, how he looked sitting at the table, in his sunglasses and visor. Like in Making the Tour, kinda. And like, I had a girlfriend, whoever she was, and Chris'n me were finishing each other's sentences already -- after like, a day together -- and she laughed and said who could stand in the way of that cuteness.

So, at one point, I go off to check on something -- the opening band or something -- and I'm standing in front of the barrier, like, where the security guards always are. And I stare out at the crowd, and glance up to see the opening act, someone like "eagle"? Something like that. So I see Namugeni, the VJ from Much, only she's playing with the crowd and says it's not her. --and for some reason, there was the old gay couple holding hands in the front row, being squished to the barrier.

Anyway, I think that *nsync were the main band at this festival. So I go back to Chris and the table. And I think I sit on his lap.

At some point during the night, I think I dreamed him offering to take me on tour with him, because like, I wasn't doing anything else and I was fun. I don't understand. I really don't.

Anyway, now I've dreamed I was Lance, twice, fucked Justin, twice, been fucked by JC, and have dated Chris Kirkpatrick. In like, a relatively mellow, we're-just-getting-along way. It was odd.

Much later, I dreamed my phone fell down the sewer, and I was crushed cause then Chris couldn't call. Apparently, despite having let it lapse into a prepaid plan, it really is all about the cell phone. --thank god it wasn't about the ice around his neck.

~

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