it's 12:12 am, on June 21, 2002 - defying gravity.

~

Cathy is asleep in my bed, sleeping and curled up, so I'm trying to be quiet and yet not succeeding. My temporary bed for while she's here in my other one, a mattress on the floor, is STILL more comfortable than the bed I used to have.

We choose where we lay, I guess. We all need a change. or some shit.

There's a lot of stuff going on right now, lots of good stuff and some bad stuff too, but most of it is really good stuff. Some of the bad stuff comes from money, actually a lot of it, so that's not even bad stuff that gets me down, not inside. On the outside, sure, but not emotionally. It's just stressful.

Bad stuff that's kind of emotionally stressing include relationship graveyard ettiquette, as well as just the stress of being in the place of not having very bright a future. There's some problems with my registration for next year, and there's some stuff going on with school, and, blah, you know, but it's annoying. Also, I'm still (!) at home, which bugs the fuck out of me.

But other than that, things are good and hot and sunny, and I'm going back to Florida. Everything would be perfect if only Chris would hire me.

*

Kitty put a note in my journal that said: So, new Our Lady Peace, right? RAINE SAYS: Jack Kerouac on the road And in my head I need relevance, intelligence A new tatoo and a lot more sex And baby, I thought of you.

And I was already into that cd, because the latest single goes like this:

Last time I talked to you,
you were lonely and out of place
You were looking down on me,
lost out in space.

Laid underneath the stars,
strung out and feeling brave
Watch the riddles glow,
watch them float away

Down here in the atmosphere,
garbage and city lights,
you gotta save your tired soul,
you gotta save our lives.

Turn on the radio,
to find you on satellite,
I'm waiting for the sky to fall,
I'm waiting for a sign.

And it's the thing that I'm basing the sequel to "fall" on; the sequel, however, is Joey's POV and it's called "climb". Because we all know that Lance is falling, going to fall, and falling fast. He's going up into space, for chrissake, and after that, what can you do here? What would possibly be good enough?

I would hate, just hate, to achieve everything I want so completely. How could you spend twenty two years of your life dreaming about an eight day mission? You couldn't do it. You couldn't do it if you tried, because after those eight days, nothing else is ever good enough.

Lance, man. He's doing it. The question becomes of course, then what.

Of course, that's where Joey comes in.

*

"Let's not talk about this now, okay Joey?" Lance has a white hotel towel in his hand, scratchy and thin because this isn't really a five star resort, you were too lazy to find a five star resort, you settled for three. "Let's not talk about this now because I can't."

You want to be that towel, going into the bathroom with him, wrapped around him when he comes out of the shower, naked and looking at himself, nothing covering him up. "Okay," you say. "Okay, we won't talk about it now."

~

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what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

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