it's 10:30 pm, on August 07, 2002 - after all the dreaming.

~

The counting crows, while I love them like pie, are a band that I shouldn't ever, ever, ever listen to. They tend to accentuate any weird mood and make it worse. Them and Matchbox 20-- I love them but they make me want to slit my wrists in very short order.

Anyway, the short version: I just got back from two different trips, one to Knoxville, one to Toronto. In very short order I saw almost all of my tribe and reaquainted myself with them, put those loves in order and all.

And there are so many things I could say about those trips, those people, those loves. but right now, there's, nothing. there's just the knowledge that now I've gone and gone and come back home, with a new nsync wallet calendar, a ring from Rossi, and a roll of film with faces that I miss so much already.

I just want to come back home again. yes and no.

There's this thing, that Mel and I were doing kind of independently of each other. We just kept telling ourselves, "just make it to august. Dexcon is in august. keep it together until august." and etc etc. You know. the last ditch telling yourself life is okay if you can just make it to here.

Yeah, so now I've gone and gone and come back home.

The long version: I should write down, some time, some space, but I won't. So many things, so very many things. Challenge for the Children. What orlando looks like at night. faces, names, places, homes, every. Just.

You can't go back again. This is just like how it was at Kyle's graduation; that sensation of ever moving forward. that loss. you know.

after all the dreaming, I come home again

~

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what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

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