it's 1:32 am, on October 26, 2002 - that old familiar restlessness.
~
Mopey? Me? Never. Not when there's wisdom teeth to bitch about.
No, really. this isn't moping. It's something, else.
There's a definite restlessness settling in tonight. the kind that makes you want to get in the car and go, drive, drive forever and ever and never really goes away. The only thing to soothe this kind of restlessness, of course, is finding someone to lay still with. Seeing as how we're fresh out of those, here, a journal entry seemed appropriate.
The internet is both a blessing and a curse, since an apartment back in toronto feels almost tangible, and being there seems a possibility instead of something that I'd have to travel over a thousand miles to do. and yet, there are those thousand miles, and it makes for restlessness.
Found a segment, Franklin Richards at the Oasis, that I don't remember writing tonight. I feel that, in some strange way, I am a chronicler of the people and faces and tribes that roam the plains and forests and foothills.
was that me? I don't even know. Oh, that we might all be chroniclers and tribesmen.
I told Doqz he had to journal-update more, but maybe that's because his poetry doesn't go away, so when he updates that old restlessness abates, at least for a little while. It's all about learning how to lay still.
also, between the time it took for me to cook macaroni downstairs, and come back up, he went off IRC. which, shouldn't make the restlessness worse, except of course it does. That apartment is so close it's almost taste-able, and yet, impossible to get to. it's not even that we were speaking, much. Just, having those names online, being able to have a certainty that someone else was living, at the same time.
Laying still.
and of course, right now I can't.
Ashlan suggested I call him. but, it's not even that there are lots of things that I have to say, so there's no way I'm going to make someone sit on the phone with me just to push away a bit of loneliness. For some reason, there's just no focus anymore. It's. gone, now that there's no one around.
of course, Ashlan also linked to a picture of Jesus with a blowup doll.
~
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