it's 6:39 am, on December 19, 2002 - strange how hard.

~

Sometimes I think people forget that I'm a massive cunt.

Tomorrow I fly home, Inshallah, from this mighty universe we call someone else's life. It's strange how easy it is to --

I typed that sentence, then turned away to do something else and was immediately distracted. I don't know what is easy, anymore, and it actuallty seems kind of really hard.

this is what I've learned.

Three things seem obvious and might as well be written down as law, now. self-evident. true. --I don't recognise that quote but I'm sure its not me.

Anyway: a. I can't stop from mentioning certain stars in pubs on bloor street, no matter what trip it is. also, cannot stop from doing certain things which prove rule b.

b. Massive, massive cunt. this is proven in all manner of little thoughtless things, rather than grand gestures. Comments. you know. I like myself, irregardless of this, really, but the fact remains, massive cunt. this reflects on:

c. which is, despite liking myself, this isn't the actual problem, maybe. it's being likeable to others. translation: relation to other people is kind of really hard.

Funny, I think that might have been what I was going to say was easy, slipping into some role wherein people are close to you.

Anyway. tomorrow I'm off the whirlygig of fun we call travel. learned some new, somewhat unsettling things along the way. that's the point of travel, however, so I consider the trip a success.

~

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what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

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