it's 11:28 pm, on March 11, 2003 - love is.

~

I'm so desperate to avoid my Ovid paper. No, really. I mean, yes. plus, how could you possibly write a paper on ovid when there's a whole world you could write about in the journal you got for your birthday? the sweetest, kindest, most amazingly touching gift in the world, and you have to write a paper?

anyway.

suffice it to say, I've been given a short sharp shock in the manner of love. Except, it's more an electric shock to the skin. slow warm burn. however you want to define it. decided that I wanted to do some quotes.

~

Whatever JC gave Lance kept him sharp enough to break off the connection before it got too intense and has kept his nervous system working fine but Justin is twitching a little now and he feels like he's being shocked on the inside of his skin, painful jolts running through his body. Everything feels a hundred times sharper, the feel of Lance lying next to him sweet and painful. He doesn't know how he can feel both things at once and so strongly but he does. It makes him feel out of control.

--"fly", by amber

The direct contact of Chris's warm body against his pelvis is almost too much for Justin, and he starts to recall gently exploring his entire body, imagining that his own young hands belonged to Chris. Looking at the body above him, Justin almost wants to cry.

--"sweat", by spikeless spike and cliokat

Dying Justin's hair should have been ridiculous, like two girls having a beauty night, but instead it was shockingly intimate.

--kel, "allegedly yours"

He held her, and stroked her back, and then she stood up and as he bowed his head, she ever so carefully said, "let me in".

--"Ripper: Letters from Hell"

This guy Justin used to fuck whenever they were in New York would tell Justin no one would remember the fact that he gave great head. "You want to be the fuck they can't forget," he'd say, "then be polite. Go about the whole thing with a little class and ten years later they'll still think it was the best thing that ever happened to 'em. Just be polite." And Justin's always taken the advice in this quid pro quo, you fuck me how I want and then I'll do it how you want kind of way and that's pretty much served him well. He's never had to go without. But now he thinks he's been wrong the whole time. It's about this. About wanting to do what the other guy needs, even when he doesn't know how to ask for it.

--tiff, "shiny and new"

"In some ways, as people, we sort of have really fallen in love with each other in a way, because we have to go to those places."

--Lee Tergesen

"miss you like sleep, there's nothing romantic about the hours I keep"

--you am I, heavy heart

--"we are becoming what we love."

--kel

Amid the scent of rude tobacco and flowers, we happened by pure chance to cast our eyes upon row upon row of homosexual pornographic literature. As one, our eyes alighted upon a singularly mischievous glossy cover, showing a naked young thing with brazen eyes. The title of that lewd publication was...

"Bizarre Boys!" we both breathed , staring with astonishment at each other before returning our grateful gaze to the magazine in question. We had a kind of mental intercourse, a porno epiphany when our two minds were, for a bizarre moment, united.

We had found our title.

More important, I think, we had found each other.

--Peter Milligan, on he and Grant Morrison in Barcelona.

Mal: Are y'all gonna be here when I wake up?
Book: We'll be here, son.
Mal: good. that's, good.

--firefly, "out of gas"

Simon: Why'd you come back for us?
Mal: You're on my crew.
Simon: Yeah, but you don't even like me. Why'd you come back?
Mal: You're on my crew. Why're we even talkin' bout this anymore?

--firefly, "safe"

under all these shooting stars without any wishes, i really, really worry that at any moment i'll sit up in bed at home. in little circles with my thumb i'm rubbing the dip in her palm and thinking, i really want to go somewhere far with this girl. then, with her face up to mine she says, i want to travel with you, i want to fly with you somewhere.

i freeze in this warm water, terrifed. my lips still against her cheek, i say, "who would get the window seat?"

smiling, she says i can have it. and i exhale.

--bobby

"and the caravan has all my friends, and they will stay with me until the end"

--"caravan", counting crows

"I really do have love to give. I just don't know where to *put* it."

--magnolia

"the poets say that all who love are blind
but I'm in love and I know what time it is
the good book says go seek and ye shall find
well I have sought and my, what a climb it is"

--"I've got it bad and that ain't good"

Friend of Matt Fact: Both Ben and Matt hate flying, so the two make frequent cross-country road trips together. Ben always does the driving and the two make up stories and dialogue to keep him awake. There's a notebook in the glove compartment for Matt to take notes if anything interesting develops. Much of Good Will Hunting was written on these trips. They say they can make it from coast to coast in fifty-seven hours.

--"golden boy", a matt damon biography

Lance says, "You're every dream I've ever had," like a warm hand on Justin's chest.

There's music piled at Justin's feet, lyrics on notebook paper and full songs on professional sheets. He picks up one of the pages. "You told me a story. Do you want to hear a song?"

"Like I love you."

"You, you want to hear that one?"

"No, baby. I want you to sing to me like I love you. As much as I love you. As much as I want anything."

--"slow like honey", sandy

"Di moin qui vous laimein, ma di vous qui vous ye" : Tell me whom you love, and I'll tell you who you are.

--creole proverb

"I live, a bedeviled man, disposed like any other to cherish my human affinities; whoever you are, I love you"

--pablo neruda

"can't nobody do it better'n you"

--nsync

"Hard to steal what's offered. Can't steal friendship, can't steal love, can't steal what you're already welcome to."

--ashlan

"don't let go--"

--chris keller

SPIKE: Just, give me something. A crumb, the barest smidge--"

--buffy the vampire slayer, "crush"

"Jesus, Lance." Joey held up a hand, and Lance saw his mouth crumple and he moved forward -- and Joey's face was buried in the crook of his neck before he knew what was happening. Joey's hands were wrapped around the back of his head desperately, shaking him with wet, keening sounds. He breathed, "You are so full of shit."

--alestar

What goes comes back. Come back.

We never left each other.

--rumi

Toby; "you doing laundry?"
Chris: "yeah."
Toby: "you hate doing laundry."
Chris: "yeah."

--OZ

Interviewer: "Tobias Beecher."
Chris: "What about him?"
Interviewer: "I dunno, you tell me."
Chris: "--we sing in the choir together."

--OZ

You people conduct yourselves like you drive. it's like, fifty percent of you are right there, and the other fifty percent are yappin' away, trying to get laid. it's very, very weird. --And I wouldn't have said a thing except that's exactly, exactly, what this next song is about.

--michael stipe

Twenty-one years later he's burnt
and fumbling still
but in the darkness, in that moment,
pierced by something that feels like
Wonder,
body scrabbling
against the floor,
against an onslaught of something
Nameless and Unknowable,
He looks up and
Goddamn
if the sky isn't
Full of stars.

--brighid, "Odyssey"

And still, still he couldn't make himself stop talking, though his body ached and his jaw ached and his lips wanted to be kissing Chris, instead. He didn't stop until he realized that Chris was speaking, too, mumbled words that fluttered over his heated skin. He had to listen very hard to hear what he said.

"I know," Chris said, again and again. "I know."

It wasn't until those words penetrated the oxygen-starved parts of his brain that Toby realized what he'd been saying, over and over.

"I hate you," he'd said. "I hate you, Chris."

--angel, "can't not"

Hank says, "You can do the things that you want to do."

Bobby scrubs a hand across the back of his neck. He laughs quietly and says, "dude, I bet I could I prove you wrong."

Hank smiles. "I will take that bet."

Bobby returns the smile, he can't help it, even though his head is bent and his gaze is down. "Will you bet me a smoothie?"

"I will."

They sit in silence for a moment, and then Bobby takes a deep breath. He moves like snow, or cloth blown by slow wind, putting his hand on the table and pushing himself up, forward. His hand moves in first, moving across the table, followed by his arm, his shoulder, his forehead-- when his hand reaches the edge, he leans down until his cheek touches Hank's very still cheek. He waits.

Then he presses his mouth against Hank's without waiting anymore, tilts his head and kisses Hank without waiting anymore.

After a moment, he pulls back thinly, a breath away, his hand fitted around the edge of the table.

Hank whispers, "I win."

--alestar, "throw my head away"

~

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what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

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