rock the casbah

it's 5:27 pm, on December 27, 2003 - come and pour a little love here in my void.

I keep listening to Fiona Apple's "paper bag" and thinking about people, because really, it's stuck in my head and in my heart. and apparently, I was hearing the chorus wrong - when I thought she said, "I want him so bad, I was careless - cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up", apparently it's actually, "I want him so bad, oh it kills". Kill who, is the question. it also continually reminds me of the story about Justin going crazy and just wanting so much and getting so little.

I was staring at the sky, just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on, or something like that
I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew, was a hopeless to be had

But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances
Were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag

Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

And I went crazy again today, looking for a strand to climb
Looking for a little hope
Baby said he couldn't stay, wouldn't put his lips to mine,
And a fail to kiss is a fail to cope

I said, 'Honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on put a little love here in my void,' - he said
'It's all in your head,' and I said, 'So's everything' -
But he didn't get it - I thought he was a man
But he was just a little boy

ps: will be in toronto for new years, stop. still talking to boy, stop. don't know what world is doing with the snowflakes outside, stop.

The current mood of lisewilliams@geocities.com at www.imood.com

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