it's 7:26 pm, on February 28, 2006 - old bruise.

~

A couple of things at random, as I am testing a playlist called "relax already!" and don't want to add to the stress of it by trying to be alternately witty and thoughtful--

Where was I? Was I commenting on the irony of stressing out over a playlist called "relax already!"? To explain: I began it by trying to put together a playlist that, as well as calm down and destress to, I could be proud to hand to Paul and say, 'seriously, man, relax.' The work stress we were sharing is now fading, slowly, like an old bruise, but still flares up in the desperate and manic look in his eyes that comes up when no one's looking, the exhaustion that shows through when he stops working for a minute - or the perpetual frown I wear without thinking, the lack of hunger, still forgetting to take lunch even when I can--

I did it again. This was going to be short, honestly.

Anyway: I stress out because now that work isn't stressful for either of us, really, I wonder whether I should just give up on the playlist right now; except, I think it's decent. So I listen to it, and try to relax, and instead of relaxing I wonder if it's absurdly sad and eighth grade to try and make a playlist to say 'relax, man!' Especially to give to Paul, which, we went out for lunch today. It was nice, and sunny, and I had udon.

Wait, I wasn't talking about that, was I? Right.

To get on with the things I was going to talk about in the first place: Thing one: Why did no one tell me that N.E.R.D. had a song that had the actual lyrics of: Do your really even love me // If you do there is no pain // Do I really even love you // Or do I really love your brain. Someone must have sent me this - was it you, Kelly? Because I have not heard this until today. Did I just not realize it? Was I brainwashed? Did the music say DO IT?

Remember when the entire world was gay, and it was like slash was coming alive and eating the world? This is a bit like that, except, well.

That's not what I was going to say either. The other thing I was going to say was, I found notes listed in my 'notes' page on diaryland, which of course I never replied to. Let me explain - I forgot that was even there. Apparently I'm not getting the emails, so should anyone want to actually talk to me? Apparently that's not the way. Oops?

...speaking of, this 'relax already!' playlist has club techno in it. Relax already! Get stoned! I guess it kind of works.

~

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what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

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