it's 9:09 pm, on September 05, 2006 - bears in the woods.

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I just went through and deleted all my email marked "tribe". however, I found the description of the dream that coined the phrase "bears in the woods", which, one of my new years resolutions this year was to conquer the bears in the woods. ah. hah.

Tonight feels like a night to burn bridges. I want to change my phone number. I want to disappear. anyway. saved for posterity below. I put the names back in, because I don't fucking care anymore what people say about me or who fucking thinks I'm a bitch. I don't care.

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This is the dream:

You're attempting to kidnap the governor of some place or other, for something incredibly important that does not actually stick in your mind, because of what comes next. dex tells the security guard, as you're trying to escape, to stun gun you, because it will be funny. You get angry, and he laughs. You're rolling around on the floor in discomfort and pain, because your feet were shocked, while al tries to comfort you, stroking your hair and such. You reject such comfort, it even irritates you.

Later, walking out of the mall � mall? place? � you confront him about his callousness, and he laughs. You decide to tell him awful things, decide to hurt him just because you can, and you're tired, so you say cruel things. He looks at you, and walks off without reply. rossi follows you as you walk forever, down streets and alleys and going in circles, trying to convince you that he needs you to be uncomplicated, undemanding, easy. He needed you and so you had to apologize.

To this you react negatively. Eventually, you meet up with him again, and you tell him, "why should I help you with your camping, when I could be camping myself? It makes no sense and there are bears in the woods."

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I want to say, what a stupid nightmare, but I can still remember the panic attack I had waking from it, right there. I couldn't sleep the rest of the night. maybe I should have heeded its warning and not come here, huh? it's not like it was, you know, a bright neon sign or anything.

~

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