it's 10:28 pm, on December 01, 2006 - copy of a copy.

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Bobby said: after the alarm this morning i sat in bed dipping nilla wafers in a bowl of milk, watching the cat swish her tail on the window sill, and really, what is any of this? this... *this*, any of it.

that's exactly it, right there. right now, a lot of the time, big things or small things are drowned out one and the same by *that*. I haven't been sleeping, so my brain is already close to snapping, and as Bryant pointed out last night, it's been a pressure cooker here since I moved here with no break in between. even the good stuff is a pressure cooker.

the not sleeping thing is getting as bad as it was when Matt and I stayed up for days at a time. I want to email him and ask, "are you waking up at four am completely wide awake too?" it's not that bad yet, because I am unable right now to properly crash the eighteen hours every eight days required to continue to be up without sleep the rest of the week, but it's approaching critical mass. my brain just doesn't shut off, whether my body does or not.

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moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
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bruise - June 29, 2015

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