it's 12:15 pm, on March 28, 2008 - -.

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started crying on the streetcar about how much I wish I could just go back in time and figure out a way to keep him. can't decide if this is a sign of an unhealthy obsession or just long-standing love. fear the former; suspect the latter. no progress, no progress.

can't believe I'll ever really be able to erase someone who means everything to me. maybe I should just get 'waiting for telfer' tattooed on me. like waiting for godot; from wikipedia: The implication here is that nothing is a thing that has to be done and this pair are going to have to spend the rest of the play doing it.

haven't emailed yet. won't. am I better off? don't even know.

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later (as I have decided that editing one entry per day is better than making more than one - I don't really understand the logic but I guess I'll go with it):

am telling myself I will not email, not even about the thing I need to email about. one contact, thru stupid online game, is too many. just have to focus on something long enough to get to bed time, and then I can sleep, drift off into that bliss of unconsciousness, where nothing matters and I cease to exist.

to sleep and not wake up. that is my heaven. and I thought I was actually doing better.

~

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what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

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