it's 10:42 pm, on July 14, 2008 - build a bridge, y/y?.

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a. I wrote 'only you can prevent emo' on the bottom of my foot today in thick, black sharpie. it's probably already smudged all over my calf, the sheets, my skin.

b. I have run out of words. for like. anything.

c. there's an email somewhere in the universe that I won't send. it goes something like, i'm sorry that I forgot that the best thing about our whole thing was being able to be there for you when no one else was able; sucks to be us, huh?

d. fall out boy is like an nsync au where everyone and no one is happy, and where justin timberlake wears an emo hoodie. reading all about their breakdowns and unhappiness and drama, i keep thinking, i'm their age; i'm pete wentz's age. and he's just as fucked up as he ever was, right?

e. so not everyone but me is capable of not falling apart.

f. the creepy part of the fall out boy phenomenon is that not only are they on the internet enough that fanfiction about them have the disclaimer "if this is pete wentz, click 'back' pls", but that they have their own blog/livejournal site, complete with comments. this just in: the internet is not a fad. of course, this does lead one to think that most of these people would be as big a douche as anyone on the internet, present company most definitely included, but it still hurts the brain.

g. I went looking for an allen ginsberg quote that i could have sworn I had saved up somewhere; realized it was probably something al had saved up; realized I no longer felt even remotely comfortable simply googling her name in order to find allen. I don't want to be an internet stalker - check y/y?

it went something like "years later and i still picture neal's slender cock in my hand". it goes with my wanting to send pete wentz a fan letter; well, not a fan letter. you know. Dear Pete Wentz-- is my new emo.

h. imagine not wanting to be eaten, and wanting it today.

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