it's 1:50 a.m., on 2001-07-23 - computer woes ahoy.

~

* Lise- chuckles. It had to do with a bunch of rebels like from stargate... a truck stop that us dex-conners wanted to take over for them.

Some suburban truck stop.

And the people driving 'pac-can' trucks were the bad guys

And some of us got stuck inside (O.o) with the bad guys. hostage? and had to sleep on the floor. Dex got the couch because he *did* organize dexcon, after all.

And I remember very clearly that, for some reason, this was the second time this had happened, or the second time I remembered this happening, and the time before, Matt got shot.

*laughs!*

And when Dex and I, and Rossi I think, were talking about how to get free, he said something like, 'I guess I either organise stuff... I need someone on left-point'.

(WHY left-point, I dunno.)

Oh!

And then he said something like, or I'll be the guy that thinks up all the stuff, and then, gets left behind. So I said, but there's... no one left to be front-man.

And he said, 'no... Matt's fine.' And I was happy. Because matt's my friend and I didn't want him to be shot.

--which is where I woke up.

There's a lot more with other dexconner's, I think, but I don't remember. And I know that the rebels didn't want to help us because it said not to on their trucks.

Wow. That's... either deep or just odd.

~*~

I have decided that anything that looks as good as a pink grapefruit isn't supposed to taste as bad as a pink grapefruit.

I mean, somewhere along the way, someone's wires got crossed and all of a sudden, this juicy, lucious, pink citrus fruit got a taste associated with, I dunno. Camels or something. Something that smells really bad and bitter.

Grapefruit is the perfect diet food -- yeah, and I know why. Once you eat some of it, you're loathe to put anything else in your mouth because it tasted so bad.

~*~

News on the hard drive front: it's getting better. I think. Formatting now. Cross your fingers for me, y'all. I think I'm getting there. Slowly. On a boat to china.

Boats to china would be dull and make me sea sick.

~*~

I want to tell you guys a great big whopping non-secret.

I feel very young.

Well, okay, so it's because I *am* young. I'm only barely legal age; I'm getting over the fact that I can take the car out, nevermind drink legally. I'm a kid, really. I get away with being twelve at movie theaters. I act like my fourteen year old sister, without all the make-up and interest in boys.

I barely fucking realize that I'm not in elementary school -- that yes, university and I *are* on a first name basis. That yes, I actually have a chance to pick a major for my first degree in a little while.

In maybe three years -- sooner?! -- I could be applying to gradschool and going to write, like, master's papers and have to be a real scholar and *know* things. I'm not going to ever get to live in my car; I'm playing in the sandbox now, alternating with working on being twenty three and schooling myself into oblivion.

What the fuck am I *doing*, man?

I feel very young. I feel like I shouldn't be *doing* this to myself; and I feel like sooner or later (sooner, rather than later) all these people who really *DO* know things are going to find out that I'm just a nerd who writes medium quality, relatively speaking, writing and who drives a truck. Who has no concept of saving money. Who, who. Who doesn't even know what to say to someone who is hurting.

I am the little tin soldier. I'm lined up all in a row. I'm buried in the sand.

Fuck, I've never had a real job in my whole life. I'm nineteen, I'm in third year university, and I've never had to work. I've never been what I want to; I don't know what I want to. I am young.

~*~

More news on the computer-- is now formatted and ready for an OS.

Problem is. I have no CD-Rom drivers. I must make CD driver boot disk. I *hate* doing this. I *always* do this, every time I reformat a fucking computer.

Yes. It goes slow. ;)

--another update: ten oh four pm. Installing Windows 95. We Are Happy about this. Very. Next comes up-grading to 98, and then finally, downloading those programs which I so desperately crave (ie: notetab, dreamweaver, winamp, photoshop 5.5 -- though I might take that off my uncle -- mirc 5.4 32 bit, and AIM. And the ftp program I have been using. And then audiogalaxy. And then probably, uh, windows media player upgrade. Or something.)

~*~

One forty-seven in the morning... everything's fixed and done. I haven't cracked Dreamweaver 4 yet; I haven't installed Adobe. Haven't tested the burner or the scanner -- am afraid to without more information, and some software. I still don't have Word. Other than that, I'm set, I'm done. I'm good to go.

~

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what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

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