it's 7:29 pm, on January 16, 2003 - yank my teeth before I'd ever bite my tongue.

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blah blah blah fandom wank, blah blah blah assholes, blah blah blah egoism

Let's talk about me instead.

So there's this girl in my bible studies class. And by bible studies, I mean, class in which we are supposed to be reading the bible as a literary text and examining the religion based on said text.

Anyway, forget the bible. there's this girl. and she has bright blue eyes, and curly black hair, and her name is Caitlin.

So, we set the stage: a classroom, back row. A prof, who's nice but letting fucking morons talk way too much, at the front. A small little 20 year old dyke, staring mournfully into the front of the room in the hopes of getting a glimpse of her crush, and in between writing a note to her friend beside her.

The note goes something like, "do you know Caitlin?" and then, "Do you know if she's got a guy? I kinda think she's really cute."

all at once, I feel like I'm back in high school -- nay, grade school, passing notes back and forth in class about the boy I liked. or about the girl I liked. whatever.

So christina writes back to me, "I can try and find out for you whether she'd be interested," because to put it into perspective: I don't even know if this gal is gay or not. I just know that her eyes are the bluest things i've ever seen.

in other words: "can you find out if [insert crush here] likes me?" "will you go out with me? check yes or no."

Shallow crushes like this one, I think, serve an important purpose in our lives. Because they distract oneself from the stupidity that is people arguing over things like fandom wank, the right to say what they want versus the need to be polite, and the incredible masses being so very vocal on the whole argument.

I mean, for chrissake, my bible studies class is 100% more polite and well mannered, and more intelligent, than the whole thing, every single person talking about it. And my bible studies class include someone who actually asked how big Goliath was, really.

Of course, I wanted him to shut up nearly as much, too.

Caitlin wants to do a paper on The Historical Jesus -- I think, evidence of his real life, as opposed to the myths that grew up around him. Which I think is just awsome.

I'd like to research and try and argue that christianity started as a mystery cult and only after Jesus's death did it ever evolve into something else. The Eleusinian Mysteries for the Jewish, one might say.

I bet that would cause some controversy. but still not as much as the suspension of one childish community. the effort it took to a. get that irritating to people in the first place and then b. get the community shut. down (which encompasses anyone who might be actively pursuing any, uh. action. in regards to fandom wank).

Go and read a book! go and write some fic! go and do something more useful than preaching. you can't cast out demons. quit pretending to a. do so or b. be one.

here endeth the lesson.

(ps: I know I'm a big hypocrite for complaining about it. but sometimes, man. and you can email me rather than make a public Thing. love lise.)

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