it's 4:00 am, on May 20, 2003 - dog with a chew toy.
~
So, hi. Apparently, now that I have a topic? I'm just like one of those stupid golden retrievers with a chew toy - playing and chewing and squeaking it until the thing is dead and swallowed and digested.
Today's Topic: Children Who Take Care of Parents.
Now, see, of course I got into Everwood the night before the finale. That's just like me. But, come on. Ephram Brown is the prettiest intense artist boy on tv. He's just my type. He's an artiste, he's intelligent, sensitive, and he's got pretty, skinny, angular features.
And not only that, but he provides emotional support for his parent.
Let's recap. You're fifteen, sixteen, seventeen. Your parents fight a lot - or, don't fight a lot. Because he's kind of shy and gruff, your father doesn't really have a lot of friends, and none that really understand the workings of the family quite like you. Because while you're a child, you're a fairly intelligent and observant child, and you used to be sensitive, even. You knew what the score was with your parents.
So you're only fifteen, sixteen, but your parents tell you things. They rely on you as support because you're there and you understand what's going on. They tell you things. And you might be juvenile and don't pick up after yourself, and you might be melodramatic and a teenager, but they need you.
This is kind of like what Everwood's like. Replace "fight a lot" with "your mother died and your father is insane", but basically - despite what Ephram's emotional maturity level is when he's around Amy - he's sensitive enough, and smart enough, that his father relies on him. Even though half the time they hate each other, his father needs him.
Yes, I want Ephram to be my boyfriend. Sad. Sad, sad, sad, my life is. I even squeaked at the finale tonight.
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You know, this journal is getting to be so stupid and boring. At least I don't have a cat to talk about endlessly, since unlike Sundry, my cat and dog stories would NOT be amusing in the least. But, oh, wait, damnit. There was a cat story I wanted to share with you.
so. Today's Other Topic: That Darn Cat.
See, the neighbor's window opens out onto the roof that connects with mine. And I guess, they have this adorable little cat. (It had better be theirs - I don't know how else a cat would come in my third floor window.)
Anyway. It keeps crawling into my room, sitting on my lap while I'm trying to type, stepping on my keyboard, lying on my pillow and getting cat hair in my bed. And it's not really cute, it doesn't make me want to go, "oooh". In fact, it's probably a good thing, because it's basically shown me how non-cute felines are. And a cat is the only pet, barring a goldfish, I'd ever want anymore. So, fish or nothing.
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I have a psych test tomorrow. I have to explain Freud, seriously. I haven't really studied. --well, I have, just not psych. I've studied Ephram's relationship with his father. I've studied his face, his expressions. I've studied his speech patterns. I've studied his ass. In a way, I guess it's psych.
Speaking of psych, the fifteen qualities that show you might be "eccentric" are: being--
--creative
--non-conforming
--strongly curious
--idealistic
--happily obsessed with hobbies
--aware from early childhood you're different
--intelligent
--opinionated and outspoken
--a bad speller
--non-competitive
--not interested in the opinions or company of others
--single
--the eldest or only child
--mischieviously humorous
--unusual in your eating or living habits
The first five are the most important. For those who want to know such things.
My mother and I laughed over this one, because we decided we were both eccentric, except for the bad spelling - and she's not creative or the eldest, and I'm not outspoken.
She relies on me, too, now - more than dad now, because I don't see him. Sometimes I think, I should try and talk to him more, email him, but we haven't had a civil conversation in quite a while. Maybe it's because I started to take a side in their arguments, and it was my mother's. I don't like that idea, because being impartial in my parents' whole relationship has been one of the only markers in my life that I'm a mature individual. If I can say, yes, I view them as people first and parents second, I feel like, although I haven't grown up in any other way, that's something.
Except.
Ephram, he's starting to see his dad as a person first, and parent second. ...well, no. He's always seen him as a person and then a parent, because he was a lousy parent. But now Ephram's seeing him as a person, and because he's a person, forgiving him for being crappy at being a father. That's important, to see parents fucking up as a normal thing, because they don't know much more than you do.
Blah blah blah. I should have written the witty pet entry. Our cat likes to crawl behind my bed and get stuck! She likes to run around the house when we're not looking! She likes Wendy's hamburgers! She's miles better than your cat, and she's not mine!
Which is probably the best part. When I don't want her, I can put her outside and not worry about whether she can get back in, because she's not mine! Unfortunately, you can't do that with your family. You have to actually open the door for them, and let them in.
~
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