it's 1:29 am, on August 20, 2008 - "I feel cleansed." "I feel boiled.".

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today marks a day, fellows, today marks a day. went to see the Counting Crows in concert for the first time since I bought that loved, oh so loved bootleg of 'august and everything after' when it came out in 1994. they began with 'mr. jones' and ended with 'holiday in spain'. they played a roughly ten minute long version of 'rain king'.

halfway through the set - right around the song 'you can't count on me', while adam duritz was saying 'if that's a song about losing someone because I walked away from her, this is a song about being someone who'll always walk away' - I had an epiphany: i am wasting my life.

hypothesis: i never wanted to be a writer, never wanted to chase that itch, that sting, to its conclusion, never wanted to take that risk and feel that ache, that pain, that sharp, biting want-- because somehow, somewhere deep inside me I wanted to lose.

wasted in the afternoon, waiting on a train. I woke up in pieces.

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what would sith be nostalgic about anyway - November 24, 2015
moving truck dilemma - October 28, 2015
- - July 19, 2015
- - July 01, 2015
bruise - June 29, 2015

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